Valentine's shit.

Challenge - write a story every week or month or couple weeks or just on some kind of regular basis.
Because we all know I'm a bit unreliable with regular posting and such.
So here we go - first story in my challenge. Sort of sticking with the valentines day theme here.


I was huddled up under a dismal and dying cherry blossom tree. A young woman walked her dog past me like every Wednesday. As always she noticed me curled up and shivering in the early hours of the morning. She just kept walking her Pomeranian puppy and singing summer songs in the early spring sunshine. Right on past me. As usual. I snuggled back under the blanket. Just as I was shutting my eyes, I saw a boy walking behind her. He looked at me and he saw me. Like really saw me. Before I knew it I had stood up and walking over to him.
He didn't break eye contact as we walked towards each other. It was clearly love at first sight. I felt like he knew me already. Inside and out. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for him. I knew he felt the same. How could he not. I came to halt in front of him. He gazed deep into my eyes. Without speaking he grabbed my hand and walked me into town. I don't know what was running through my mind right then. It's all so crazy and different and new. Never would I have thought I would be doing something like this.
We found ourselves in Costa. We didn't buy anything. He put his giant backpack under the table. I'd left all my things with my tree. It's always safe there. We chat. Hours go by. We are left unnoticed and untouched by the world. the story of my life. The story of his.
I can feel it and i know he can too.
We are meant to be.
Before we know what's happening it's closing time and we are kicked out. That always happens.
Slowly we make our way back to my tree. We stop and kiss multiple times. I know he wants me. I want him too. We reach the tree and kiss again.
Out of nowhere a platypus drops down from the fading sunset sky, and falls right on him. I'm screaming. In a moment of troubled thoughts I push the platypus away and start pulling at the boy's flesh. I don't know why but I ate some. I was so hungry. I ate him all. I couldn't help myself.
I look in shock at what I have done.
Only option is to bury him under the tree.
I go to sleep, happy.


Hope everyone had a nice day today.
Kieran the dragon stopped by today and shat all over my day.
I'm kidding.
But I'm not very into valentine's day.
I babysat and worked today. Have got the boyf staying over tonight though.
Yeah, that picture to the right; that is the card I gave to that guy I call my boyf. Because I'm awesome. It's characters from Adventure Time.







And this is the outside and inside of the card that he in turn made me(:





















Now fuck off.

Needed to write

Alright so I really feel like writing.

Actually, fifteen minutes of staring at the blank screen after writing that gives the assumption that actually, I'm just feeling a little lost.
I've felt funny all week. What's horrible is that I keep forgetting what set me off feeling funny, and then I remember all over again. And I feel worse.
It actually happened whilst at Funeral for a Friend, I'd very much love to write on here what it is. However, it is a very private and sensitive matter that I don't want everyone I know knowing about. Well, the actual thing did not happen at FFAF, but what did happen was that I found myself in the exact place that stuff had happened just before we went to the gig and I got all stressed and wasn't able to breathe too well and almost had a panic attack.
But I took control of it and forced it down and now it's like little bits of it are coming back up and making me feel very tired, scared and pretty crazy if I'm honest. I wish this hadn't of happened. Well, I'm kind of getting to be okay with the actual thing that happened. And by okay, I mean I'm managing to live with it and realise that It. Was. Not. My. Fault. What I mean is I really wish that I hadn't been reminded so harshly at such an inconvenient time.
Specially as it just sent me crazy this past week. At the gig I can't tell you how many cigarettes I got through to try and calm me down. And this week. At the gig I got rid of some anger by just shouting and dancing and shit, a lot harder and better than I would have ever done otherwise.
Of course my everyday time isn't spent in a way where it is acceptable for me to scream. So I've been smoking a lot, and just feeling crazy.
I cried a lot on Monday. Because of this and other stuff.
I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. I'm happy but I'm sad.
The one I call my boyf has barely spoken to me since I turned up at his with no where else to go and in tears. It was awful and it was my last resort to be there. I wish he hadn't seen me that way. However, I suppose in a way it can be called a good thing because the way he plays it next time I see him I suppose will show me whether or not I should be with him. Cause I think I'm still pretty fragile, but I do know I can handle being in a real and decent, happy relationship.
So I guess we'll see.

Funeral for a Friend post (kinda)

OKAY

So a lot of you have been checking my blog the last few days, well, more people than usually when I don't post it to facebook, which I am putting down to my last post where I mentioned that I was going to see FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND which a lot of people have misunderstood as me going to an actual funeral. Which is fun.

So yeah, I had been meaning to write a post about it but have been having a stressful couple of days and the other day I felt so rubbish I didn't feel like moving but hey ho, everything is shitty but I'm still fookin smiling so shutthefuckup

Now, I'm feelin' alright, let's talk about funeral for a friend

Which was amazeballs

I went with that guy that I mentioned in another post, the Red Squirrel, and a friend of hers that I don't know particularly well.

So we all head off and spend aaaages waiting around for six because we couldn't get in before then because me and the red squirrel aren't 18 yet so couldn't just go and wait in the bar.

Inside we still had to wait ages because support acts weren't scheduled to start for a while yet. The boyf kept buying drinks (which I nicked and drank as well because I couldn't have my own because of the whole being underage deal)
Basically I really don't feel like writing about this atm, so the only other thing I'm going to say about it was that it was fucking amazing, I had a really good time, they played my three favourite songs and I got very sweaty in there.
Tbh it was really my first proper gig The only other gig I've gone to was and Electric Six gig a couple years ago with an ex, and we almost didn't go because it had snowed very badly, and it was pretty empty whilst we were there. The whole experience of having so many people squished up together, throwing each other around and dancing like crazies was so exhilarating that it has inspired me to buy tickets to go and see Killswitch Engage who are another band I like, and possibly a couple other bands if I can squidge the money together. However those other ones that I may go to would simply be for the gig feel rather than the bands because I've not really listened to any of them yet
And of course I've got my tickets to go and see P!nk in April (still haven't fully decided who's going with me)

I've felt very sludgy so far this week.
Was horrible at the beginning. Haven't spoken to the boyf much, don't know what's going to happen with all that. Got some interesting news on the frontier of relationshipy stuff that has thrown me off and gotten me mad and god knows what else I'm feeling about it. But I do know that I really don't want to be going back down that road. If I have learnt anything in my life it is that going back to things always seems to end badly for me. So I'm going forwards and I'm staying happy as I can.

WTF

Okay, was going to write about my New Year party thing today because it is a month later and I thought that would be cool. Well, actually I had just been stalling because it's a bit of a rubbish story because it involves that psycho guy (PG) that I went on a date with that one time.
So quick overview - went to friend's house, walked with her to meet other friends went to pg's house for party, drank, he went weird, friend got smashed, I chain smoked like a little motherfucker and then fell asleep on the sofa about five.

NOW, for the more interesting news, tomorrow I am babysitting and going to see funeral for a friend in bournemouth and I am excited. yadda yadda yadda.
My stretchers turned up and I put a 10mm tunnel in my 8mm hole and it hurts like a fucking wankertit now. the ear that I've just started stretching doesn't hurt. Nice.
I took the pink out of my hair.
Going to put another colour in at some point.
This post is not even worth posting to facebook

Sidenote -there's a dude sat on my feet

My legs looked damn sexy today.
I always look damn sexy.
Only reason I'm writing this post is because I know I need to keep writing things here otherwise this is going to fizzle out and not be my thing anymore. This is like my constant and I guess I need one these days.
Fucking hell.
I'm out.

Lovely times

I haven't done a post almost all week. The reasoning being because of my last post. I just couldn't manage to write anything here. Not really sure why seeing as it doesn't matter in the slightest who does and doesn't read my blog, seeing as it is only for me.

But yeah, everything is going pretty well. 

Last weekend I went to dinner with a friend, where we bumped into another friend having dinner with her family. Which was pretty fun.

We had pudding. 

Pudding.

Saturday I went and bought glue and fun stickers for art at staples which has now shut *sadface* with my awesome sister and baby niece. 

Afternoon spent in Southampton avec ze new boyf.

Yeah. Suck on that I have one now. And he is a lot nicer than that guy who almost got me fired. This one bought me Ben and Jerry's the other day xD didn't even need to tell him what flavour.

Girly soppy moment over

We went to see Movie 43 at the cinema (and went into Primark, where I bought new thermals and underwear) 

Movie was absolutely hilarious. You should go see it. Or at least watch the frigging trailer. It's seriously funny.

If you don't mind a bit of stereotyping and offensive jokes.

Sunday spent doing some prep for my art final piece.

On Friday I had also managed to finish my health and social coursework to an alright standard (I hope) So that was a load off my chest

Now I have an art deadline on this Friday.

But that's alright because it's a lot easier to paint than to write a report.

Painting is a lot more fun

And interesting.

I have fab plans for this weekend too.

For a start I'm going to see Funeral for a Friend on Saturday night. Which is going to be awesome.

Today I transferred my money to my friend's account so that he will transfer the V5 into my name and I WILL HAVE MY BIKE.

Won't be picking it up off of him for almost two weeks yet but still.

Technicalities are not important.

I totally felt bad ass walking around town with all that money on me though.

I really wanted to ask for it all in smaller notes and just take it home with me and roll in it for a little while and just yaknow, bask in its lovelyness.

But I didn't because that would have been too time consuming and I was on a mission to take my sister a Costa because baby niece is poorly and she seemed like she needed it.

My stretchers for my ear should be here within a week as well

Which is awesome.

So everything is going pretty damn well.

And then Kieran the Dragon turned up on my doorstep and totally fucked things over with his firey breath and psychotic tendencies.

GRR

So, crazy couple of days.

Had to get an extension on my health and social coursework because of shit happening and not giving me a chance to do it, and now the deadline for me is tomorrow and it still isn't done but I'm sick to fucking death of my stupid work so hey guys I'm right here. 

But aaaargh I'm totally pissed off now because apparently some douche that is friends with that guy that totally fucked me over last year, has been reading my (awesome) blog, and somehow got the idea that it is a blog about that guy that fucked me over.

How pigheaded do you have to be to think that?

No, this blog is about me, and it is for me. And I love it. I wouldn't live without this thing now.

Just really pisses me off that someone like that has gone and read my blog not even properly and got the idea that it is about that knobend.

ANYWAY.

Seeing as I'm thoroughly pissed off I'm gonna go now. Nice short angry post. yay. -.-

Yesterday...?

So, I fell asleep through exhaustion last night from revising (yeah, I actually managed to start my revision!!)
And when I woke up this morning I was checking my blog (as you do) and I realised that I had written two posts..
Yesterday is a bit of a blur, as you can see in my Manic Writing post I was feeling pretty crazy and stressed. This happens sometimes. I'll just go on hype mode. Won't really know what I'm doing. I just completely forgot that I wrote a post. Or that I really did anything I said I did in yesterday's post. So I've checked a bit... and guess what, I really have decided to stretch my other ear, because I've bought a bunch of stretcher and tunnels and spirals.
Oh, and imagine my surprise when I looked in the mirror this morning and saw the pink in my hair.
The weird thing about it when I get like that is that I basically appear normal from the outside. But inside, I'm racing and everything is pretty slow.
So there we go.
My exam this morning didn't go too badly, only got worried really about one section of the exam and one particular question.
All in all pretty well.
This afternoon though, my coursework..
Well, let's just say that I don't think it is even worth an E grade..
I only did the first section of one unit in the coursework.
I just couldn't sit still, couldn't concentrate. Couldn't manage to organise my thoughts.
I went for a sprint out to the college gates and back, and that actually helped. Was really weird, hadn't even realised I did it until I was halfway there. Dunno, guess I had too much energy. Which is weird because I'm so exhausted these days and if I'm telling the truth I've let taking my iron supplements slip my mind for a couple weeks now.
Am hoping I can get an extension for my coursework.
That or I am resubmitting next year.
Another thing I did today - dropped out of English.
Yeah
I love writing, but an English A level just isn't the same.
Instead, I am going to spend the time I would be doing English, on writing my book.
Because I had such a good idea for it and I promised myself that I wouldn't let it fall behind me like basically everything else I do.
This way I'll have more time at college and will be able to properly focus on my other subjects and not falling behind
Good news is that next year they are starting a creative writing A level, so I'm going to take that and just forget about English A level. I have my AS level in that and that will be good enough for me. Kinda upset that I can't double box it though. Because it is new they won't have the A2 stuff for me to take, because logic shows that you need to do an AS in it first.
But that should be good.
Because I've realised recently that I am fooling myself really about going down the psychology route. I would love to be that great psychologist that helps people, but I'm a drifter really. I'm not made for doing lots of work all at the same time.
I would still love to work in a nursery or a nursing home or a children's home or something like that, But that's the thing about writing; you can write with whatever else you do. So I can have that as my day job, be fulfilling and be helping people, and I can be doing the thing I love most as well.