Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Motorbike - I hate you

So let's recap on this motorbike situation.
I passed my CBT just before Christmas. Beginning of February I buy a bike. Pay for repairs around March. Physically get the bike about three weeks ago. After having it a week get a flat tyre - have to pay to fix it, get it back end of that week. Not even a week after that I slip in the rain on a roundabout. This was last Tuesday. I leave my bike there - I thought there wasn't any damage. Am taken up the hospital because of my knee - which is healing pretty well now. Thursday I went to pick it up, look it over, try to ride it, something is up with the steering and the headlight is hanging onto the front of it. Take it to a garage on the Saturday. Today I am told it is going to cost more than twice the amount of money that I have to fix it. Being unable to fix it means I can't get to college for the rest of the term. And that means that I won't be able to continue my course. It also means that I may be homeless again because the main reason I was allowed to stay with the people I live with at the moment was because I had the bike and therefore able to get about and get to college etc.
I had such a short period of time - only about a week - where everything seemed to be going alright and sorting itself out. It's so cruel of the world to let me think that and then take it away again so soon.
I can feel all the pressure of everything - from the last couple of months and the last week just rush back up and hit me straight in the chest. I don't know how to deal with it right now.
I feel like I just want to get away.
I don't want to be here - and I don't want anything else bad to be happening to me. I think, right now, if something does, I might break completely. I don't want to be that broken girl again - not anymore. Everything was going so well.
I thought 18 was going to be my year.
I really did.

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