Thursday, 25 October 2012


So today was Thursday and I wish I'd not bothered getting out of bed to be honest.
It kinda wasn't worth it -- all I found out was that I need to fork out for a new ipod now. And that my laptop has probably got a bug on it that is tearing it to pieces from the inside out. But hey, just another day...
So I've been thinking that perhaps I should just encase myself in some sort of bubble, to prevent people from having to talk to me, and me from having to interact. Because gosh it's a bunch of hard bloody work having to talk to people all the time.
But hey ho.
Hmm... I didn't do anything of interest today. I was going to go to the art center hijack, but well, why bother when there is a comfortable bed here to just sit and lie in? So instead I went to bed and carried on writing some of my book.It's not coming on too badly to be honest. Though I think one of the main reasons I'm writing it is because there's not lots of things to write about on here because let's be honest, I'm pretty damn boring, and writing a book means I can pretend I am someone else for a while. But of course I get bored of even being someone else because things are going too slowly. As in, in my head all these thoughts and ideas are racing around my head, and I think I'd need at least six sets of hands to be able to start being able to write them down, because everything is going so fast and I just can't get everything down with just one pair. Like my hands are going 5mph whilst my brain is going at least a hundred, so there's no way i can keep up with it.
That's one of the reasons I run; because I'm trying to keep up with my head which is flying away with thought more than half of the time.It's when there's so many thoughts rushing around inside me and crashing into the side and not even pausing before speeding off again just to crash again, that I find if I go for a run it's like shaking them all out of me, and sometimes I imagine that they are being thrown out of my ears as I go. Because that's quite amusing.
I'm not sure if I prefer having the crazy rush of thinking or if I prefer it when I can't think of ANYTHING and I can barely think about one thing at a time because it's so overwhelming and makes me want to bury my head. which sometimes I do because I like finding out if I can remember where I buried it...
I definitely don't like it when my brain tells me it's time to stop and then just shuts down and won't let me do anything or feel anything; that's pretty rubbish.
But anyway, there's a cat climbing over me and telling me to stop.


  1. Those supplements I bought in Holland & Barrett the other day may be useful for your brain issues, that's why I take them.
    Also consider learning meditation for the whole too many thoughts situation. It helps but it takes a lot of effort.

  2. I read your post with great interest and admiralty. You sound as though you have dropped on you feet with friends family...but it reads as though you don't really want a family life or get tied to anyone. I can only imagine you have had a bad past with your mum, and it has put you off. If your flat is now empty, and it reads as though you want to be on your own, why do you not stay in the flat? Or can this family offer security until you can get a council flat of your own?
    You should remember that not all people are bad and some have good intentions. I hope things work out for you

    1. hey, so most of what you've written has been answered in my most recent post
      to be honest I don't want to have a council flat, I'd rather rough it out for a little while now and manage uni so that I can buy a house or something myself, so that I can feel accomplished, if you get my meaning?
      Thanks for the comment <3