Thursday, 4 October 2012

Have been SO busy with coursework! and catching up with psychology work! but here are a couple of posts that I have written over the last couple of weeks, with more to follow (hopefully) tomorrow!
This was a mixture of what happened around the 16th-18th of september
Hate my flatmate
She had a go for me never doing anything in the flat. Told her I don’t use it, maybe she should take responsibility for her own mess because there isn’t going to be someone to clean up after her forever. Then I went back into my room. Was the first time I ever said anything back to her after her having a go. She shouted after me that I'm immature {NB Wednesday 26 September key worker said she always forgets how old I am because I'm so much more mature than the others that live here. Most of the other residents here are older than 20.  Fuck my flatmate.}  the rest of my evening was invariably spent with earplugs in due to excessive noise on her part.
The next day, come home to three random guys in the flat… wth. Loud music on… go in my room and shove my head in a pillow. Not hungry so stay like that for a while. Twenty minutes later my flatmate, knowing I am home decides to ‘treat me a lesson’ and  ‘ show her [me] what a hoover is’
She proceeds to turn the hoover on, shouting to her friends about how she has a sore throat,and about me (wth turn the music down stop smoking and leaving mould everywhere and your throat will be ten times better?) and bangs the hoover into my door (not a new trick, well, the only other time she’s hoovered she’s done exactly the same thing) and shouts to them how she isn’t going to hoover the outside of my door, because she doesn’t use it (really, you’re calling me immature? At least I pay my rent….) however, by having the hoover turned on, and banging it against my door, she is thus hoovering the outside of my door… she’s thick. Clearly.
After this there is a nice discussion about how horrible I am, just the worst flatmate ever, I never clean. Two minutes later I hear ‘oh fuck cleaning, I hate it, I never clean really. Just throw stuff away and start again’ I have no idea how the others reacted. She is so dumb.
More ranting about me… and ah, my favourite part of the evening. Her boyfriend tells her, ‘don’t worry babe, don’t forget that if you have any problems with her, there’s my golf club by the door, and the baseball bat under the bed.’
So hey, now I've been threatened!!
At college the next day I tell student support about how I'm not feeling safe where I live, and voila, call where I live to have them tell me (on the phone and when I get home in person) that it’s an indirect threat, I have no proof, basically there’s nothing they can do. I ask them to help me find a new place to live, because I can’t do it anymore. Not living with her it’s too impossible.
Told they can’t give me a different flat because there’s no evidence, and, knowing this, my flatmate has reversed everything and told them it was me, or that I have done similar things.

17th september on the bus

Things are really stressful
I'm on the bus home from college and things today are catching up with me. I know it’s stupid but I'm kind of crying and that’s really embarrassing because if anyone saw they would think that I'm not coping. Well maybe I'm not but I wish I was.
Over the summer my mum was going on and on at me to get a dentist and orthodontist appointment. So I finally let her make them for me, and I let her know when my holidays from college were, so I wouldn’t have to miss any lesson time.
So I was asking her the other day when they were so that I wouldn’t miss them, and at lunch I got a call from her, shouting and telling me that I should be doing these things myself. She offered to do this for me remember.
So I'm stood there, middle of college with her shouting in my ears about how rubbish I am, and I thought, I really don’t have to listen to this shit anymore. I don’t live with her anymore. One of the reasons I don’t is because she does this, and now, she has no pull over my life. Well, she shouldn’t do anyway. So I hung up. And proceeded to throw myself into some work to forget about it. Which was good. But then she rang me again on the bus home, and stupid little me answers, thinking maybe she’s ringing to apologise.
Instead, I hear her tell me that the appointment was last week, I've missed it, I'm irresponsible, and that I now don’t have a dentist because I also missed appointments over the summer. What summer appointments? I never made any. So now worried as hell, shaken up and a little pissed off, I hang up again. I have no idea whether or not this is all true, nor what I'm going to do if it is true.
But it’s fine, I think, I can work it out, there’s always a way right.
But then she texts me, tells me my appointment is in October. She LIED to me simply to cause me undue stress and to make me feel shit. And it worked, because now I'm sat scrunched up on the bus worrying over whether I did miss any appointments over the summer, and tired of the crap my mum pulls over me.
I feel like balls.

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