Monday, 17 December 2012

A lesson in christmas

It's that time of year.
You know, it's much like the year's period; you get all excited and happy just before, then you realise that you were excited for a reason, and that the reason is a bit shit. Because now there are things that you have to remember to be doing all the time, and you can't really go out anywhere nice, because things are always in the way, but you do get to wear some nice comfy clothes. And it's very stressful. And you have to buy things.
So Christmas is just one big old period.

I fucking love wrapping presents though - unfortunately, I have specific wrapping rules that I must follow. And yes, I am about to illustrate them.
First, no buying of presents is allowed before at least December, except in special circumstances, i.e, when I find something awesome that I want someone to have, but is too expensive for me to just rock up with it at theirs randomly.
Second. Try to do all present shopping on one day. This way I am completely aware of the money I am spending. Try to stay away from internet shopping. Always ends badly.
Third, chocolate presents must be bought after all other presents, to minimise temptation.
Four. Physically wrapping the presents cannot begin until ALL presents have been bought and are physically in the xmas present hideyhole.
Fifth. Wrapping paper must already be bought, as must tape, and scissors must have a known whereabouts. Ribbon must be used on all presents, and bows are one to a  person. NOT one to a present. Must have these prior to wrapping. Same for tags.
Six, the wrapping paper must be the same. No presents are to be wrapped in different paper. This means ensuring that enough paper is bought to begin with. Because chances are if there isn't, I will NEVER find the exact same paper again. This goes for bows and ribbon too.
Seven, if this does happen, then the new paper, ribbon and bows must co-ordinate with the old.
Eighth. Wrapping must be done on one afternoon.
Nine;  boxes are to be wrapped first.
Tenth and most important rule - presents must look neat and cute; there is to be no re-wrapping of a present, nor the loss of tags.They must all look perfect, otherwise NO-ONE gets their presents. That is all.

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