Monday, 10 December 2012

Suck it up.

I felt very off this morning.
Not sick, not depressed.
Just like I knew that if I went out, I would be swallowed up by the world and wouldn't be spat out for while. So I took the day.
Yeah yeah, I shouldn't have done.
I didn't have anything important today anyway. Nothing I can't catch up on easily. Sort of.

Maybe it was because I got up on the wrong side of the bed... which is completely possible because I spent Sunday moving my room around here, and tidying it up a bit. I don't see an alternative to staying here. I guess what's going to happen is I suck it up and get on with it. Isn't that what I always end up doing?
So I added some 'me' to my room. The wallpaper is a bit... gaudy? Um, I dunno, It's very expensive - It's a light blue with a golden swirly leafy pattern thing on it. It isn't very me. I put some material over the window, so now you can't see into my room, and that corner looks awes.
Yesterday's post mentions breaking a mirror on my head - that was because I was being an arse and balancing it in that corner. After I cleared up all the small dangerous pieces (cutting myself twice in the process) I strategically places the larger pieces on the window sill, and it actually creates a great effect.
And now you know what I need as an xmas present...
I spent today relaxing. I dyed some of my hair, I cut another, and washed them all. Been waiting for the right moment to get around to doing that.
Did I mention on friday that I had a health and social mock exam?
Well, I did. Don't think I did very well. Mostly because my wrist was hurting the whole time. (I don't think I've mentioned before that I have an issue with my wrist at the moment. Really fucking hurts.) So when I handed it in I mentioned that my writing was slightly illegible at the moment. I got sent up to skills development and I'm going to have to have a laptop in my exams.
Was a bit pissed off with that. Not once have I ever had to have support with my academic side. Gotta just suck that up as well though. The bright side is that I am a million times faster at typing than I am at writing, and it's a million times easier.
I still feel funny.
I wonder if I'm losing my happy.
I guess if I have to ask, then the answer is yes.
That kind of sucks.

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