Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Five tips(:

I didn't mention yesterday that I made a phone call, on my own, without preparation.
I never do that. I get too freaked. I never answer the phone unless I know who is on the other end either.
Anyone who knows me knows about that.
Anyway, I had a good day - shopping in Basingstoke.
Got some xmas presents. And bought myself some stuff.
Because let's be honest, I'm a selfish little bitch.
And it's xmas so I can tell myself that it is okay.
But I don't feel like talking about my day. Mostly because Tesco have let me down and have NO CHOCOLATE ORANGES IN STOCK.
Which has clearly really upset me.
So I'll give you some interesting and useful tips
Bruises - If you have a bruise and you want it to go away quicker, soak some cotton wool in white vinegar and hold it against the bruise for about an hour. It will help bring down the colouring, and will heal it faster. Trust me, this one really works
Second, got smelly feet or fungus-y toes? Soak them in Listerine. It's all antiseptic-y and will help make your feet healthier.And it smells quite strongly. Similarly it can be used to help with blisters - which is what I tend to use it for because I always have blisters on my feet.  Because I never buy shoes that actually fit because I don't like people knowing just how small my feet are.
Third. Honey. Usually, I leave my spots because I'm a lazy fuck, and I pick at them during the day because I'm disgusting. But when I feel like I need to make an effort to get rid of them, I stick honey on them overnight. For a start it smells lovely. For another it kills bacteria and keeps it sterile. Be sure to stick a plaster over the honey covered area though - I learnt this the hard way and woke up the first time with honey all over my sheets and hair. It wasn't fun.
Four - I had to use this one yesterday. I got a small shard of glass - much like a splinter - stuck in my hand. It is pain free (and kind of fun) to cover the area with a runny glue and when it is dry, pull it off, and the splinter will come out too because it gets stuck to the glue. Don't use a cheap glue though, and make sure you clean it afterwards otherwise the glue will get inside you...
And fifth, when I have a sore throat, I drink lemon juice mixed with honey. It tastes really nice (I really like lemon though so there may be differences in opinion) and it really does help with a sore throat. It is supposed to boost your immune system or some shit as well.
I thought these might be some helpful tips, especially seeing as it is colder out, which tends to increase blisters, smelly feet, spots, cold and  well, i guess if you spend more time inside you are going to be moving wooden things in your house and getting splinters, or maybe headbutting mirrors like me. Which will mean you have bruises as well(:


  1. Tom Jones uses Listerine to soak his balls when they're a bit delicate.
    Also soluble aspirin mixed into a paste is good for spots.

  2. Nice tips and I really enjoyed reading this. You should consider a career in journalism or freelance writing or such. You are very talented :) Jay