Sunday, 13 January 2013

I hate this week

This weekend has been a perfect example as to why I don't really mention my family much. On here or in person.
The main people in my family that I ever really even mention are my sisters, because a)  they are awesome and I couldn't live without them, and b) they are the least complicated. In the past month I have had a brother and sister in law unblock me on facebook, which was great, but I've also had a brother and a sister and a brother in law delete and block me. I haven't really got any reasons for that at all.
It's like I can be a part of only half of my family at a time.
I stayed away from the stuff that was happening on facebook. I really hate facebook these days.
Anyone who knows me has known that this past week has been difficult already, and that I've just been keeping my head up and going along with it. Now, I have no idea what the hell I am doing.
I accepted ages ago that I'll never know what happened years ago, and I don't honestly don't mind not knowing about it. Whichever way it happened; whether it even happened; why it happened; there are lies and hurtful things tied into it, and I'd like to have that mess left in the past where it belongs. I don't want to have to hear about it or think about it. I want to start afresh with the parts of my family that want me to be a part of theirs.
Unfortunately, I know that probably even that cannot happen.

I have an exam tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to do very well in it really.

I wish I was anywhere but here.
I want my bike.
I want to ride so fast that I can't breathe.
I want out.


  1. I'm sorry you feel that way. I sent you a private message on Facebook to explain why I was un-friending you - and perhaps I should have explained it a bit better. It had absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with Vicky. I will never ask you to choose between us because that is unfair. Jay and I still love you as much as we ever did and you and Zoey are always welcome to visit us. I have actually deleted my facebook account now, which is why you won't be able to find me on there. I hope we can still be sisters :-) xx

  2. On the plus side though, you are awesome when drunk texting. And your niece and I love you dearly. Even with the orangey greeny hair :P