This weekend has been a perfect example as to why I don't really mention my family much. On here or in person.
The main people in my family that I ever really even mention are my sisters, because a) they are awesome and I couldn't live without them, and b) they are the least complicated. In the past month I have had a brother and sister in law unblock me on facebook, which was great, but I've also had a brother and a sister and a brother in law delete and block me. I haven't really got any reasons for that at all.
It's like I can be a part of only half of my family at a time.
I stayed away from the stuff that was happening on facebook. I really hate facebook these days.
Anyone who knows me has known that this past week has been difficult already, and that I've just been keeping my head up and going along with it. Now, I have no idea what the hell I am doing.
I accepted ages ago that I'll never know what happened years ago, and I don't honestly don't mind not knowing about it. Whichever way it happened; whether it even happened; why it happened; there are lies and hurtful things tied into it, and I'd like to have that mess left in the past where it belongs. I don't want to have to hear about it or think about it. I want to start afresh with the parts of my family that want me to be a part of theirs.
Unfortunately, I know that probably even that cannot happen.
I have an exam tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to do very well in it really.
I wish I was anywhere but here.
I want my bike.
I want to ride so fast that I can't breathe.
I want out.