What the hell is wrong with me?
All logic dictates that now, though things have been shit, I should be absolutely, splendiferously happy because it's over now.
Or should be.
Or seems to be.
I can't help but expect this to go wrong too.
Nothing has ever gone right for me and stayed right.Perhaps, andto be honest this seems very logical to me, I am not supposed to be happy. I would hate for it to be, but maybe my whole purpose is to be that person that everyone looks to, to feel better about themselves. Because I haven't had a good time and I don't know when I will, or how.
Maybe it already has but I missed it. Or maybe this really is it.
I'm kind of tired of acting like everything good that happens is good and going to stay good, because there is always bad that comes in and overtakes it and swallows me up and leaves me feeling this way. I don't know if I should bother trying to keep this new happy thing, because if it's only going to go wrong anyway, what is the point?
And I thought I was feeling better this week.
I want to start over.